I know why our society is so fast.  Because if we slow down we realize just how pointless our lives our.  I had to the whole week to relaxe from the stresses of midterms, but did I do this...no.  All I do was get bored and as a result very depressed.  I am so depressed I am turning down offers to go.  And becasue I am bored I am craving food, especially chocolate, the one thing I have vowed to give up.  I am sick of being fat.  And I don;t want to hear anything about it...I'm fat and I'm sick of it.  So I cut out all my bad food habit and now I am going crazy.  I am almost shaking I need something to munch but I didn't give on.  I now have one day of will power that I can claim as a vicotry...but I feel stupid for even trying not good, stupid and embaressed.  I say to myself  "Halt, why are you eating? are you relly hungry?"  and then I answer "NO you idot your not hungry your freakin bored out of your mind." So I try and do something about my boredom, but I am so bored nothing is fun.  I cant stare at the computer all day and I am sick of watching TV, and I am sick of knitting and thinking and sick of dreaming about things that I would do if I had money.  I know I could get a job and make money to do things with but then I would have no time and be way to tired to do things.  Then I realized that I truly am a looser for to many reasons to explain.  One obvious one is that I  am sitting her complaining to whom ever reads and relly you don't care.  As much as you say you do you don't but that ok I dont care that much about you either.  There is nothing anyone can do to help so don't try just let me ramble and go to bed.  Sleep makes me feel better, like always when you are depressed.  Well I am going to try and escape my pethetic life and become absorb by that of Will and Grace.  Shit I'm hungry...

P.S. Don Quixote is an idiot, but I admire his ability to get lost in his happy place and say "screw you townspeople, I'm a freakin knight who has no problem with cutting of your head."

Currently Reading Don Quixote By Miguel de Cervantes, Edith Grossman see related

I"m bored with life...and I am lonely, well not at this exact moment cuz gabs is on my bed, but in general.  I miss people. I am not sure who...well I miss Nathan for sure.  I just miss knowing that we are not as close as we used to be.  I know we will always be friends but now its the see you twice a yer type of friendship with little talk in between.  I miss my twin cousins.  They are growing up and they have no idea who I am becasue my family only gets together once or twice a year.  I miss a lot of things.

  My life is boreing...well I know its not but sometimes it seems like it.  Like how I get ready for bed at 8:00 and my weekends consist of jobie events and my weekday consist of homework, facebook, and movies.  I girl this weekend didn't believe me when I told her i don't talk to people at school.  She couldn't understand why, not that i gave her a solid answer, but she didn't understand how I can sit next to someone in class and not talk to them.  it got me thinking why don't people talk to eachother, cuz i may not talk to people but they don't talk to me either, and realized that there relly isn't anything to be afraid of.  The wrost that can happen is that conversation never pics up and you don't talk, the same thing you were doing in the first place.